Let's get dark
by sunshineindenver
Summary: This is a sequel to my other story "Logan had nothing."  Veronica and Logan are at college.  Logan's still struggling with his mother's death and wants answers.  I was just bored and felt like writing some more...
1. Chapter 1

*Sequel to _Logan had nothing_*

_Let's get dark_

As dark as we can get…

Logan rolled over in bed, expecting—well, more like hoping—to feel Veronica lying next to him. Without even opening his eyes, though, he could tell that she'd left again like a thief in the night. Veronica had recently gotten her first "normal" job, working at a local Neptune coffee shop. She liked it and Logan was happy for her but it meant she left him while it was still dark out most days. He rolled over onto Veronica's side of the bed and sighed. _Time for school._

For someone who had never shown much academic prowess before, Logan was doing surprisingly well in his sophomore year at Hearst. Veronica had moved in with him and they split the rent—which let Logan only work one job instead of two. She was constantly improving his life. No one had ever told Logan he was smart before so he always believed he was, at best, average but he was acing most of his classes. Logan was majoring in biology for no good reason other than it was interesting (and he was good at it); Veronica was studying criminal justice for much more obvious reasons. She had asked her boyfriend if it was ok if she wrote a paper on the Aaron Echolls trial and how could he say no? Logan was trying so hard to act like his father meant nothing to him anymore—he was even thinking of changing his last name to Lester, his mom's maiden name—that he couldn't risk seeming offended at the idea of Veronica writing about his family. Logan, for all intents and purposes, had moved on and he wanted everyone to see it.

Aaron, on the other hand, had not moved on—not even superficially. Even though Lynn's body had never been found and neither had the murder weapon, Aaron had been convicted of murder. His interview pleading with the local paper that he was innocent was dismissed by all except a few crazies. Aaron currently was housed at Los Angeles County State Prison, which Logan had never visited. It had now been years since Logan had seen his father, but not years since they had spoken. Aaron called Logan from prison whenever he could, to remind Logan of how important he was to Aaron and how much Logan's betrayal hurt him. To tell Logan that, even though the Fitzpatricks were imprisoned elsewhere, they had men inside and it was only a matter of time before one of them shanked Aaron in the neck. Usually Logan refused to accept his father's calls but, every once in a while, the masochistic side of his personality took over and he couldn't help but see if his father for once had something else to say. Like, _I'm sorry. Don't hate me. You're a much better man than I'll ever be._ But obviously that never happened. Aaron was a broken record. He would raise his voice and demand that Logan drive up to LA to visit and maybe someday Logan would. When hell froze over and pigs flew and all that.

Logan sighed and forced himself into the shower. Veronica had probably been at work for five hours now that it was ten o'clock and Logan was only just getting ready for his 10:30 class. Logan couldn't have class or work too early—otherwise, he risked showing up drunk from the night before. After school, he would scoop ice cream like a pro and then go home to an exhausted Veronica, a late dinner, hopefully a little sex and booze and then some passing out as the cycle continued. Sometimes Logan felt slightly old. He wanted to have fun but didn't know how. True to form, Veronica didn't judge him for his drinking (which could be pretty damn excessive) but she probably worried about him. Everybody seemed to think that Logan should be blissfully happy now but that wasn't really his nature. Without pain, Logan didn't know who he was. And even without pain, he still had memories. His slate had hardly been wiped clean. He was like a kicked rescue dog sometimes or Black Beauty once that horse finally got a decent owner. But he felt even more pathetic. You don't just fucking forget, any dime store psychologist will tell you that. He won't let you.

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It was almost summertime. Veronica and Logan had been living well together for many months. Duncan was coming home for the whole summer and Lilly said she might even swing by. Lilly was almost twenty-one and obviously wouldn't be living with her parents ever again. Duncan and Logan were still nineteen and Veronica was twenty. People were finally starting to treat them all like adults. When Veronica was keeping busy, she could be happy and block out her other thoughts—thoughts of her mom, thoughts of Logan's, thoughts of something that had happened long ago but was anything but a distant memory. Her dad still called her honey and phoned her every night to make sure she was doing ok. Nobody called Logan every night. Tears used to flow easier for Veronica, but now she held them back. She missed Lilly but she had Logan and everything would be alright.

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It was another beautifully sunny day in Neptune, California. Veronica was working and Logan was surfing—or so she thought. In fact, he was boozing it up in their cozy one-bedroom—slowly but surely feeling like he was losing his mind. He liked the feeling.

"But who hasn't been beaten down by life? If you're happy it's because you don't know any better and someday you will…" It was the perfect day for a breakdown.

"Logan?" Veronica asked hesitantly as she put down her purse and her keys. "Who are you talking to?"

Logan looked up from his bottle and into Veronica's eyes. She saw that his were glassy and he was having trouble focusing. Just the way he liked it. "You, I guess, Ronnie."

"You mean you're talking to yourself. Like you're Henry V or something?"

"I guess…"

"Logan, it's the middle of the day. It's Saturday. I just got off work. I wanted us to have fun."

"So, let's!" Logan said, leaping from his spot on the couch. He spilled whiskey down his pants.

"Logan," Veronica started sweetly. "I hate to see you this way."

"I've always been this way and you always knew it. I had my first drink when I was seven years old."

Veronica cringed. What parent would let their kid…? Oh, right. "Be that as it may, you didn't used to be this bad. We can talk when you're sober. Am I going to have to call you in sick to work?"

"Are you asking me if I'm turning into my mother?"

"No, Logan I—"

"'Cause we both know she's the better of the two choices, anyway. Wouldn't you rather have a self-loathing drunk than a self-righteous bastard? Someone who hits you and beats you down? That's what he turns people into, you see. He makes us hate ourselves instead of him. We drink to forget and to, to get away. It's genius, honestly. Say what you will about Aaron Echolls, but the man has talent."

Logan was never able to speak like this when sober and he told himself he had never felt more clarity. "I mean, when I was a kid and peeked at a Christmas present once, he almost choked me to death. My mom actually had to do something for once." Looking at Veronica's increasingly upset expression, Logan nodded forcefully. "You didn't know that, did you? 'Course not, 'cause I never told you. You just know vague stuff, Ronnie. You don't know the truth. And you want to know the truth? If you had opened a present early, your dad would have just laughed and patted you on the head. Would that stop you from doing it again? No, of course not. I never did it again… Like I said, Aaron's a smart guy. He keeps calling and calling, wanting to break me down when he already broke me down when I was four. And I'll give in, 'cause I always give in. 'Cause he's my dad. Your dad is not my dad…"

When Logan finally took a break from ranting, Veronica grabbed him into a crushing hug. "It's not about biology, Logan. It's about who loves you."

"Ah, but you'll never get it," Logan muttered down into Veronica's hair. "He does love me, in a sick and twisted way. And he always will. And as long as he's alive—and I'm alive—he'll never let me forget it."


	2. Chapter 2

"Logan."

"Aaron."

"I'm still your dad. Please."

"No."

"I didn't kill your mother."

"Yes you did."

"What could I possibly have to gain by lying to you now?"

"Who knows why you do the things you do, _Dad_?"

"I know who killed her. They wanted me so they went after her. They would have gone after you too if I didn't agree to their terms."

"Your bullshit just never stops, does it?"

"Fuck you, Logan. I'm telling you the truth."

"Don't you wish you could smack the smirk right off my face?"

"You have no idea…"

"Oh, I have some idea. I lived with you for almost seventeen years."

"You think you lived some hard life? Then you really have no idea."

"Just because there are people out there who have had it worse doesn't change the fact that you were an asshole, you're still an asshole, and you'll always be an asshole."

"And you are a spoiled rotten brat who deserved every hit you got and a few more you didn't."

"Nice. Well, until next time I guess…"

"Son, just listen to me. I am telling you the truth."

"About what, Pop?"

"You know what I'm fucking talking about. Don't act even stupider than you are."

"Stop trying to sweet talk me onto your side."

"You're so tough now, huh? Ever since that day in the hospital room? I tell you, kid. We ever meet face to face again, on the outside, and you will be pleading for your life before I'm through with you."

"Are you really threatening me over a prison telephone?"

"Logan, you are my last hope. Someone has to believe me."

"There's a reason nobody believes you, Aaron. Because you're you. So if I'm your last hope then you are well and truly fucked."

"Fine. I tried. If you don't want to keep your mother's real killer behind bars, then there's nothing I can do with you."

"Where's her body, Aaron? What did you do with the rest of her?"

"ARE YOU NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO A FUCKING WORD THAT I AM SAYING?"

"Go to hell."

"I'll see you there."

"No, I won't visit you there either old man."

In lieu of smashing Logan's brains in, Aaron slammed the black phone onto the wall again and again until the guards made him stop. Logan hung up and laughed mirthlessly to himself. What a fucking life.

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One day, and not for the first time either, Veronica suggested that her boyfriend might benefit from some therapy. Logan reiterated that he didn't have insurance, that therapists were for rich people who liked to listen to themselves speak, and that he didn't need to talk to anybody anyway. Veronica argued against that last point to the death. She told Logan that she understood it was hard for him to talk to her about what he was going through, but that he had to talk to somebody. After Veronica finally insinuated that if Logan didn't get help she would move out, Logan googled psychologists in the Neptune area and picked the first one with a cool last name.

Logan met up with Frank Livingood after school one balmy Thursday. Frank dispensed therapy from a small first floor office located in the house he shared with his wife and three kids. Frank was cheap.

"Hi. You must be Logan. Nice to meet you. I'm Frank." Logan shook Frank's hand warily and followed him into the den/office/closet where therapy would commence.

"Hey." Logan sat down on the brown leather couch. It was nice but looked used, kind of like Frank himself.

"What are your concerns, Logan? What brings you here today?"

"I'm afraid my girlfriend is going to leave me because I'm so fucked up."

"And why do you think that?" Logan's f-bomb didn't seem to register with Frank, which was good because for Logan swearing was akin to breathing.

"It was implied. She wanted me to see someone. She's the best thing in my life, so I finally said ok."

"So you're here for her?"

"Pretty much."

"Is there even a little part of you that's here for you?"

Logan sighed. "I guess."

"Full disclosure, Logan. I've read about your family in the paper. I know that you've been through a lot."

Logan sighed again. Fuck. Everybody in Neptune probably knew everything about him. "Great."

"I'm not saying I'm pre-judging you. I just thought you should know."

"Ok."

"So, anything in particular you really need to get off your chest? Something it's hard for you to talk to your girlfriend about?"

"If I'm honest… I feel like I haven't really grieved for my mom. You know, I spent a year thinking she had just left me and then… Even now, they never found her body. It's just hard. There's no closure."

Frank just nodded so Logan continued. It felt sort of good to talk to someone he didn't have to be friends with or ever see again. It made the humiliation so much less. "My girlfriend, Veronica—her mom died too. So we talk about our memories sometimes and it helps but I need more…"

"What do you feel when you think about your mother, Logan?"

"I feel bad for her. She got married young and got shackled to this asshole. Her parents didn't like him, her friends didn't like him. But I guess she fell in love."

"Is that all you feel? Just bad for her?" Guy was a damned mind reader.

"I mean, I don't know. If I tell you something, you can never tell anybody else, right?"

"Of course."

"Sometimes I get pissed at her and then I get mad at myself for getting angry with her. She didn't do anything to help me or help herself, ever. It's like she was broken and it made me feel like I had no way out either. Like, I couldn't leave him because then I'd leave her so then I just put up with it for way too long. But maybe she wasn't leaving because of me… I mean, he'd have wanted to keep me."

"You put up with what, Logan?"

"What? Oh, my dad and his bullshit."

"Do you want to be more specific?"

"He used to just beat the hell out of me, sometimes for no reason at all. And I mean, we're not talking like one or two beatings. And we're not talking normal stuff like spankings and slaps across the face. This was an all the time thing. Every second I was around him there was the threat of it. He broke my nose a bunch of times. He put cigarettes out on me until he quit smoking when I was like twelve. And that's the most I've ever told anyone before, even my best friend Duncan only knows the basics. _I got hit_. The sick part is Aaron still thinks he did nothing wrong. He's not one of those people who denies it though. Those people are fucked up. He'll admit to it but he thinks it's ok. I mean, his dad was worse to him so maybe he thinks it's progress or something. Or discipline. I don't know. The belts maybe but cigarettes? He's a weird guy, Aaron. He's a total psychopath and yet he cares about me in a totally fucked up way. He refused to let me go. Sorry, I don't usually talk this much. Or I do but not about this stuff."

"That's what I'm here for, Logan."

"Right."

"So your father… You have conflicting feelings about him still?"

"Mostly I hate him obviously but… He called me on the phone yesterday and I accepted it for the first time in a while. You know how when you get a call from prison, they ask if you want to take it? Well, anyway, he was trying to convince me that he didn't kill my mom but he knew who did and part of me wanted to believe him. How sick is that? Only I didn't let him know that I wanted to believe him. I was a total asshole the whole conversation and he told me I was only able to stand up to him now because I don't have to see him and you know what? He's right."

"How long has it been since you've seen him?"

"Shit… Two and a half, three years? I don't know. I was still in high school. I didn't even go to his trial. Veronica went and told me about it."

"So who's to say you couldn't stand up to him if you saw him now?"

"Yeah but, I feel like I'll always be some stupid kid around him no matter how much I don't want to be, you know? I could be an asshole to him sometimes even when I was living with him. I'd be sarcastic just for the hell of it. 'Cause I felt like it was all I had. Damn the consequences. But I could never stand up to him physically. I never even really hit him back once. He's my dad, you know? You're not supposed to hit them back even when they deserve it. Fuck it. I don't know. Maybe if I saw him right now I would just deck him in the face."

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"Do you think it's possible that Aaron didn't kill my mom?"

Duncan and Veronica exchanged a quick glance across Logan before Duncan shook his head lightly and Veronica simply replied, "No."

Upon seeing Logan's sad face, Veronica elaborated. "I know it's hard to think of your dad doing something so awful to your mom but I was at that trial. So was Duncan. He did it."

"He said—"

"You talked to him?" Duncan was genuinely surprised. He thought that chapter of Logan's life was closed. The three of them were sitting at an outdoor restaurant drinking lemonade, Logan desperately trying to mask any and all emotion. He was failing.

Logan shrugged. "He calls pretty much every week, Duncan. Or he used to. He's pissed off at me right now. I didn't really used to take his calls but I finally did and look where it got me…"

Veronica and Duncan said nothing. Logan stared at the condensation on his glass and wished he were drinking something stronger. "So anyway, what he said was… He knows who did it. That's how he had the hand and all that. But I'm guessing he couldn't say who really did it—even at the trial—because these guys will kill him. Probably the Fitzpatricks—I mean, right? He said they threatened her and me. And now he thinks they're going to kill him anyway, on account of the tapes or whatever, so he figures what the hell? Turn on them and get out of prison early or something."

Lilly had come back from the bathroom just in time. She took a sip of her Long Island and laughed at Logan. "It's a lovely story. And Aaron can be a charming bastard. But are you really going to believe his shit just because you want to?" If possible, Lilly had become blunter while away at college.

"He's not charming. Maybe to you but not to me. He was being a total asshole. It's just—what if we're all wrong?" Lilly slid her drink across the table to Logan while she pondered this. Logan took the alcohol with no intention of giving it back. He needed to get a new fake ID. The last one had been confiscated and Veronica had tried and failed to get it back for him.

Duncan was quiet as usual. Veronica looked like she was afraid to open her mouth in fear of what might come out. Lilly had no such qualms. "Well, ok, say some random Irish crime guy kills your mom to get at your dad. And for what? What's so great about Aaron? Why not just kill him? Sure, he has no morals and he's good at beating people up but that's a dime a dozen." Lilly continued to mainly have this conversation with herself, while Logan's stare burned holes into her skin and Veronica and Duncan looked most uncomfortable.

"So, go talk to him and ask him that. Ask him why. What did he have that they wanted? It wasn't the tapes since they didn't know about them yet. But, just so you know, there's a 99% chance that he's bullshitting you. He just needs you on his side to have any shot of ever getting out of there."

"He never outright told me he did it, Lilly. He never even outright told you. He hinted at it, right? Why has he never admitted it to anyone, ever?"

"I can't answer that, Logan. But I have to say, whether he has murdered your mother or not, your father is a piece of shit you don't need in your life."

"Believe me, you have no idea."


	3. Chapter 3

Logan couldn't believe he was doing this. But he had met with the therapist a second time and was encouraged to give it a shot. Logan was seeking the truth in a sea of bullshit. It was all he wanted and he felt like he couldn't rest.

Logan drove his beater Toyota up to LA with Veronica by his side. The car was almost as old as they were but he had purchased it with his own money and felt a bit of white trash pride about that fact. The prison wasn't actually in LA, just LA County and Veronica was guiding them with printed out MapQuest directions. Logan had never been to prison before, just jail, and his stomach was doing back flips. What was his father going to look like? They hadn't spoken in a few months. How would Aaron react (even though he knew his son was coming)?

The first thing Logan didn't expect was that they didn't have to talk through glass. There was a meeting room with tables, at which sat other inmates with their families. Logan hated himself for being terrified that he and his father were going to be in such close physical proximity even though he knew the guards were there for a reason. He wouldn't let Veronica come all the way in with him. He didn't want to subject her to Aaron—or to any of this, really, but she had insisted on coming. Logan knew the prison was overpopulated. Logan knew his dad didn't feel safe. Logan just didn't know why he still cared.

Logan saw Aaron through a window first, before the guard brought him through the door. Aaron's dark brown hair was going gray and he looked skinny walking by, which made the lines in his face stand out more. Other than that, he was what he had always been. The minute he spotted his son, Aaron's expression seemed to harden even more. He took a seat as close to Logan as possible at the table.

Aaron took Logan's hand under the table and squeezed it way too roughly. Logan thought his bones might break but he grinned in spite of himself, knowing he could have a guard over there in a second. If only he had had similar protection growing up…

"It's good to see you too, Dad!" Logan said brightly.

"I don't have time for your sarcasm, boy. What the hell did you come here for?"

Logan yanked his hand out of the vice grip and laughed. "Oh, no reason. Thought we could catch up. Aren't you happy to see me? Don't I look grown up? Bet you don't get a whole lot of visitors."

"Logan—" Aaron spoke through gritted teeth.

"I know, I know. You want to beat the shit out of me but can't because we're in here. Well, that makes two of us."

Logan was really enjoying Aaron's face getting increasingly red.

"Ok, Aaron. Let's cut to the chase. What was all that shit you were saying on the phone a few months back?"

"Oh, you were listening?" Aaron seethed.

"Just barely. So refresh my memory. Who killed Mom and why? Do you know where she's buried? Why didn't they just kill you? What did they need from you that was worth keeping you alive?"

Aaron's entire demeanor changed. He leaned forward in his chair in a display of goofy-looking handcuffed excitement. "So you believe me, son?"

"Not really, to be honest. But I couldn't get what you were saying out of my head. I just want to find my mother's body. I want to know what really happened. So tell me what you think really happened and I will try to believe you despite all my inclinations not to."

"Ok, but not here. Not now." Over Logan's audible protests, Aaron continued. "Listen, kid. It's not safe, ok? When the time is right to call you, I will. I'll answer all your questions. Thanks for coming up."

Aaron motioned for the guard to come take him away and he actually smiled at his son before walking back toward the cells. "I'll be in touch, Logan. You'll see. It's all going to make sense very soon."

Logan just stared at his father and didn't respond, belatedly remembering how much that always pissed his father off. Sometimes responding was more dangerous though. Almost always, in fact. Aaron's last words to Logan struck him as somewhat ominous. The ball was in Aaron's court now, just how he liked it, and Logan would have to just sit back and wait.

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"He's playing you, dude."

"Duncan, when I want your opinion I'll give it to you." Logan winked sarcastically at him.

"Damnit, Logan, I'm being serious."

"I know you are. And you're way out of your league. Like it or not, you can't handle my problems so don't even try."

"Fuck you, Logan, I'm trying to be your friend. And—as your friend—let me just say that your dad has always been a lying sack of shit and always will be."

"Don't—"

"Don't what? This is a man you told me you wished I'd shot in the head…"

"Yeah, well, I still kind of wish that but I just want to get to the bottom of this and you guys are not helping."

"And he used to beat you up!" Duncan spit out.

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"So you admit it?"

"You were the only person I ever admitted it to!" Logan paused as Duncan hung his head. "He never hit my mom, you know? That I ever saw—not once. I would have known."

"You think that means you can't kill someone, just because you've never hurt them physically before?"

"No, but it never really made sense. He seemed to miss her at the beginning and be pissed at her for leaving—almost like he didn't know that she was gone for good. And then they must have told him—or he figured it out—because something changed. He would still tell me that my mother must have left because she couldn't stand to be around me, but his heart wasn't really in it."

"Jesus Christ," Duncan muttered.

"Look, I know, ok? But even total monsters have shades of gray sometimes."

"No, they don't man. Aaron Echolls is a child-abusing, wife-killing, car-stealing flat out criminal."

"Yeah, maybe."

"No, definitely and—honestly—I hate to see you like this. It's like you're fucking twelve years old again and you think people can actually change."

"I've changed. You've changed. People change."

"No. No one ever changes who they are at their core. You were always nicer than me and you always will be. What? You were! You're sweet, Logan. You liked animals more, you comforted your mother, you let Lilly treat you like dirt because of some stupid crush. And I, I don't forgive people. I broke up with Veronica because of some stupid lie. And I will never forgive your father for anything he's done to you. And it makes me sick that you can."

"It's not about forgiveness. It's about finding out the truth. I will look past shit he's done in order to figure out the truth; I didn't say we were going to start going to father-son picnics."

"All those times you snuck in my window at night…"

"Sorry, Donut, it clearly meant more to you than it did to me."

"Shut up, Logan," Duncan said but he couldn't help but smile. "Just be careful. Just because he got your mother pregnant twenty years ago doesn't mean you owe him anything."

"Oh, Duncan. So sentimental. You're right—I am nicer than you."

"Yeah, that's right. I'm a cold bastard. It keeps the pain away."

"Can you sleep at night?"

"My conscience is my pillow."

"So is that a no?"

"Logan, talking to you is exhausting."

"Yeah, I love it too. Don't go back to Providence. C'mon—Neptune is so much fun."

"If I live with Celeste for one more day than I have to…"

"Now, if I can work with Aaron you can handle Celeste for Christ's sake."

Duncan laughed again. "Oh, what little you know."

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Veronica stretched lazily and glanced over at Logan's sleeping form. It was still dark outside. Oh, the joy of being a barista—always getting to see the sunrise. If she woke Logan up right now, he'd still be drunk. He was such a deep sleeper and he looked so peaceful with his eyes shut tight. He was probably a deep sleeper 'cause of all the booze, Veronica belatedly realized. Otherwise, no one who had grown up in Logan's home would ever be able to sleep soundly. Veronica worried sometimes that she was recreating with Logan the relationship she had previously had with her mother. Both were people she loved dearly, people who mostly treated her well, but people who treated themselves like shit. Except Logan was nineteen. Was Lianne an alcoholic at nineteen? Veronica didn't know but she doubted it. Keith Mars wouldn't marry someone already so far gone.

Veronica sighed and went to get dressed. Screw showering this early in the morning—that's what body spray was for.

"Stop. Don't. Stop it." Logan was mumbling in his sleep. Veronica looked back at him and wanted to give him a hug, to at least rub his arm or something but she had made the mistake of waking him up during a nightmare before. It was best to just let him ride it out. She knew better than to ask what it was about. He would claim he didn't remember even though the look in his eyes betrayed the truth. They were probably memories, Veronica thought. Memories masquerading as nightmares. Therapy seemed to be working for Logan, if only he would go more than once a month. _The money, the money._ That's what he said and he would never dream of accepting her help. But it was like his whole life had been static up until now. Logan had a shitty childhood but as long as he was living the pain he didn't talk about it and tried not to think about it. Now that he was no longer living it, Logan's thoughts and memories were all he had. And it could be overwhelming. He couldn't believe the way he used to live. All he had now should make him happy…

Veronica knew her day was going to be long and busy. And then she would come home at 2:30 to Logan having a drink before his shift started. She loved him with all her heart; the sex was great; the bond was there. But was all that really enough? Would he ever be happy? And what about Veronica's happiness?


	4. Chapter 4

Veronica wanted to go out for Logan's birthday while Duncan and Lilly were still in town. Veronica had made a couple of good friends at school, but Logan seemed to find them boring. Logan only had one really good friend—a guy appropriately named Dick. Veronica abhorred Dick but she invited him to dinner for Logan's sake. She also invited her dad. It would be quite the party. Aaron still hadn't called Logan; it had been weeks now since they saw each other. And Logan didn't want to call him. Aaron had said he would call when the time was right to explain things so Logan would just have to wait on pins and needles—how his dad wanted it, no doubt.

Logan slowly got dressed for dinner. He was feeling blindingly sober. He had promised Veronica to cut back to just a few binges a week (his words, not hers) but this was his fucking birthday. His twentieth birthday—a nonevent if there ever was one. Logan walked out to the living room wearing a tie for the first time that Veronica had ever seen. She sighed. His eyes looked bright and clear. He looked beautiful. To Logan's deep surprise, Veronica had put two glasses of wine on the coffee table, a bottle resting between them. Logan smiled and sank into the couch, grabbing the one closest to him.

Veronica also smiled in spite of herself. "I figured we could have a little drink here before we go. After all, you don't have an ID anymore and my dad's going to be there anyway."

"I'm sure Lilly will still buy me a drink."

"Yeah, I'm sure she will. So this is just because, I guess."

Logan sipped his red wine and could tell it was expensive even though he definitely wasn't a connoisseur. It didn't taste like crap.

"Happy birthday, honey." They clinked glasses and Logan couldn't help but laugh. Veronica never called him honey—or sweetie or babe or any other terms of endearment for that matter. He was always just Logan.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, you're just so nice to me on my birthday is all."

"As opposed to every other day of the year?"

"You know it." They shared a smile and sank deeper into the old couch together.

After a few minutes of silence, Logan would always get uncomfortable in his own skin. Sure enough, he turned to Veronica and said, "What're you thinking about?"

"How lucky we are to have each other."

"Is that really what you were thinking about?"

"Pretty much exactly."

"Well, I love you too. And you look gorgeous in that dress. But I think we should head out before I'm late for my own party."

"If you say so…" Logan stood up and reached down to grab Veronica's hand. He polished off the rest of his wine in two sips, while Veronica left most of hers breathing on the table. For a moment, all she wanted to do was stay home with Logan. Fuck their friends. Fuck dinner. But, alas, she was the one who had made these plans and obligated them both. Lilly would probably come over and bang on the door anyway if they didn't show up… Veronica pulled herself together and off they went.

She had made them reservations at a nice steakhouse outside of town. Luckily, Logan's birthday was on a Tuesday so they were actually able to get in. Keith, of course, was already there. His face brightened upon spotting them through the door. He gave his daughter a hug and shook Logan's hand.

"How are you doing, Logan? Happy Birthday."

"I'm good Keith, thanks. How are you?"

"Can't complain. Got that election coming up this fall but other than that I'm pretty good."

"Don't worry, Dad. I'm sure they'll vote you in again."

"Thanks for your confidence, Veronica."

"Yeah, anytime. Trust me, though. You can beat Vinnie Van Lowe."

Logan nodded his assent. Duncan meanwhile had walked in unnoticed and proceeded to grab Logan roughly by the shoulders.

"Shit!"

"Did I surprise you?"

"No, I always say shit when you walk into the room. Where's your better half?"

"Lilly?"

"No, your mom."

"Lilly was just getting out of the shower when I left. Told her I didn't want to wait any longer. My mom's invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Happy 20th, man."

"Thanks, Duncan, but don't say that too loud. I might want to drink here later." Logan all but whispered that last part even though Veronica and Keith were happily off in their own conversation.

"What's up, boners?" Dick Casablancas greeted Logan, Duncan, Veronica, and her dad whom he had never met.

Veronica just sighed. Why was Logan friends with this jerkoff again? "What's up, Dick?" she replied with the appropriate amount of sneer.

"Hey, Dick, thanks for coming. And for dressing up." Logan was completely lacking in sneer, Veronica noted. Dick was wearing a shirt that had a macramé tie running vertically down the center.

"No problem, dude. Madison made this for me in home ec last year."

"Of course she did," replied Veronica hatefully.

"Ok, should we see if they can seat us now?" Duncan attempted to break up the tension. Veronica grabbed Logan's hand, Keith introduced himself to Dick, and somewhere miles away Lilly was just now slipping on her high heels.

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Logan felt sick—sicker than he had ever been. He didn't even want to drink, that's how sick he was. Next year he was getting a fucking flu shot. Veronica kissed his warm forehead goodbye as she headed off to work but Logan didn't stir. It was just as well she was going to work; Veronica was not exactly the world's best caregiver. Although, she had taken care of Logan on more than one occasion after he got into fights. This was different. Logan was lying there like an innocent little child. He had been up all night coughing—his face was flushed and pained. Logan's cell phone rang but he slept through it. A few hours later, it rang again. Logan rolled his sweaty body over toward the nightstand with great effort and looked at the phone number. He was still half-asleep but he knew well enough that some random number with a random area code equaled a call from prison.

"Hello?" He answered, his voice nearly completely shot.

"Will you accept a call from Aaron Echolls?"

"Ok." And suddenly Logan was awake and alive.

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"And I told you I'm going alone! Listen, Veronica, I'm sorry. But you going with me is not going to help anything."

"Well excuse me for trying to be supportive." Veronica didn't raise her voice; if anything, she lowered it.

Logan tried not to roll his eyes. "Support me by letting me do this for myself."

"Fine. Have a good time at prison."

"Thank you." And he kissed her cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

Logan's hacking cough kept him company on the drive to Los Angeles County. His fever had finally broken but he still felt like shit. He was drinking again though, so he was obviously feeling a little better. He was going to find out what had happened to his mom. It felt like Christmas and his birthday rolled into one—except he couldn't remember any especially good Christmases or birthdays. Logan just prayed that Aaron wouldn't be feeding him a steady stream of bullshit. Aaron sounded sincere enough on the phone—he sounded really excited to see Logan, in fact—but Aaron was always pretty good at faking sincerity. Aaron was smart. He must have observed how normal people looked and acted when they were feeling actual emotions and now he was able to emulate them.

Logan cracked his knuckles as he sat at the table waiting for his father. When Aaron finally did arrive, he was practically beaming at the sight of his son. Logan suddenly felt very awkward and uncomfortable. His father appearing happy to see him was not something he was used to.

"Logan."

"Aaron." Aaron didn't even correct Logan's first name basis.

"Logan, what are you most scared of?"

"What?" Logan was blindsided. His voice was strained. "I don't know… Shellfish?"

Aaron didn't seem to get that one. "Wrong. You are most scared of me, ever since you could walk and talk."

"What is your fucking point, old man?"

"That you are losing your fear, but I just wanted to remind you: DON'T."

"I thought you were going to tell me about Mom…"

"I am, I am. You know I'd do anything for you." Aaron was causing Logan emotional whiplash.

"Right…"

"Now, don't be sarcastic. I mean it. I am really putting myself on the line here."

"Ok."

"Liam Fitzpatrick."

"What about him?"

"You saw him on those tapes. He's a coldblooded killer."

_Takes one to know one,_ Logan stopped short of answering back.

"Yes…"

"He's the one who killed your mother. The reason doesn't matter—"

"Oh, the reason fucking matters."

"Well, what if I say it's none of your fucking business? Anyway, her… hand… Lynn's hand—he gave it to me. To get a point across. And I couldn't just let it go. But I couldn't go to the cops. They would have come after you, you understand?"

Logan said nothing. And it pissed Aaron off like always.

"Fine. Sit there like you're retarded. But here's the deal: I know where she's buried. And not because I did it. You've got to trust me on this. I've never actually seen the place. But Liam told me. It's in the desert. Here. I drew you a map."

Logan was speechless. Finally he sputtered, "Ok, so what am I supposed to do? Go dig up my mother's body? And for what?"

"I don't give a fuck what you do, Logan. I just need you to find something to clear my name. No one will believe me without your help."

"That's because you're scum."

Aaron lunged across the table, grabbing for Logan's neck. The guard separated them before Aaron could get a good grip, Logan taking a sick pleasure in watching Aaron get beat down as he was dragged back to his cell.

"This is the last thing I'm ever going to ask from you. You better fucking do it."

All Logan could do was stare.

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Logan's bladder woke him up out of a drunken coma. His head was already aching even though he still felt drunk. To his surprise, Logan heard soft whimpers coming from the foot of the bed. He looked to see Veronica sitting with her feet off the edge, her shoulders hunched over as she wore his undershirt and boxers. She was adorable and heartbreaking at the same time. Logan crawled forward toward her, speaking quietly: "Hey, hey."

His words failed to placate her. In fact, when Veronica turned to him he saw her face scrunched up in pain and streaked with tears. She looked pink and tired. Probably a sleepless night.

"Veronica, what's wrong?" At his words, she crumpled—covering her face in her hands. He wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and she didn't pull away. When Veronica finally took her hands away from her face, she immediately started laughing. Logan moved back and looked at her quizzically. Was she losing it?

"Logan, I can't take you seriously when you're sitting there naked."

"Because you're distracted by my natural beauty?"

"Shut up and go pee. I know that's why you woke up." She shoved him playfully off the bed. When Logan returned from the bathroom, he had slipped on a pair of sweats. Veronica nodded her approval.

"Do you want to talk about why you were crying?"

"Oh, what's the point?"

"Huh?"

"I never get to be upset, you know it's true. And sometimes when I'm alone it just hits me all at once… I mean, you always get to be upset and I always have to be strong. Maybe you're just more in touch with your emotions but I have feelings too…"

"Veronica, what the hell? I never meant to make you feel that way."

"It's not you; it's not. I know I've lived a fairytale life compared to you. I'm not saying I pity you—don't think that. I just feel like sometimes I can't get upset because my things seem not as serious. But something really bad happened to me in high school… Something I've never dealt with. And some days I just break down."

"Veronica," Logan began gently. "You think I don't remember your mom?"

"I'm not talking about Lianne," Veronica said bitterly. "I'm talking about something else. Something I've never told Lilly or my dad. I only ever told Sheriff Lamb."

"What?"

"Yes, I reported a crime to our favorite officer of the law when I was sixteen years old."

"What happened?"

"You remember Shelly Pomeroy's party?"

"Uh, not really."

"You were there."

"I know… I was wasted. Duncan and me both. And we were barely even friends anymore. Tequila shots."

"Well I was wasted too. I mean, sort of. Somebody spiked my drink. Duncan and I had broken up. You and I weren't together yet. I had never been with anyone before… Anyway, I blacked out and when I woke up the next day at Shelly's house… Something had happened."

"What do you mean?" Suddenly there was a lump in Logan's throat as his head continued to pound away.

"You know what I mean, Logan. I had sex with somebody. Against my will. And then I made the biggest mistake of my life by going to the sheriff's office instead of the hospital. Lamb didn't believe me and I was too ashamed to tell my dad. I would have told Lilly but I know she would have forced the issue…"

"Veronica, I had no idea. I'm so sorry. Lamb's an asshole. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone."

"Isn't that always the way, though? I mean how can you make someone go through something with you, you know?"

Logan nodded in agreement. "Do you know who raped you?"

His words cut Veronica like a knife. She hadn't called it rape since she talked to Lamb all those years ago. She steeled herself before continuing, strong like always. "No, I don't. It's the worst part. I think about it all the time… I try to recall all the faces of the guys at the party but I just don't know. I'll probably never know and he's just walking around out there. And… The second time I ever had sex was my first time with you."

"Jesus, Veronica, if I had known."

"What would you have done differently? I wanted to sleep with you." With that Veronica got up, walked to the kitchen and poured them both a drink. It was almost light outside. Logan accepted his booze without so much as raising his eyebrows. He knew Veronica's family was like his: when something bad happened, alcohol was used to make the pain go away. Sure, it was a fleeting painlessness but it was worth it just for that short amount of levity in a life of heavy hurt.

"Shelly goes to Hearst. We could ask her who was at that party…"

"I've thought about it, Logan. But how would she even remember them all? She'll just think we're ridiculous for asking and get suspicious."

"I'll do it, then. It couldn't hurt, ok? I won't bring up your name, I promise. I'll make up a good story why I need to know."

"I'm sure you will, sweetheart."

"Anything for you, baby. Even breaking a commandment or two."

"I love you, Logan."

"I love you too. You're the only one I love in this world." It's nice to know someone loves you sometimes—even if it's only one person out of seven billion or whatever. And they didn't go back to sleep. In fact, they had another and then another drink. Veronica was tipsy and Logan's headache was gone. They were supposed to drive out to the desert bright and early to check on Logan's mom's shallow grave. But it would have to wait because sobriety would have to wait. School was about to start back up and Logan's mind was too cluttered to even consider microbiology right now. Life trumped learning every chance it got.


	6. Chapter 6

"God doesn't give with both hands, boy."

"Yeah, you know, I've heard that one before. But then why am I good-looking and smart?"

"Shut your smartass mouth."

"Ok, if you say so."

"What did you find out?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I swear to God, Logan, I am going to hire someone on the outside to kill you in your sleep."

"Again with the threats over a prison telephone. You're really not making me want to help you…"

"What did you and your little girlfriend find out?"

"Well…"

_Five hours earlier:_

"Awesome topography skills, Aaron."

"It's cartography, darling."

"What would I do without you, sweetheart? But, actually, it's kind of both." Veronica and Logan were trying this new thing where they threw terms of endearment at each other ironically. Logan strained his eyes at the tiny print on Aaron's sloppily put together map. I mean, honestly, how hard is it to find a straight edge in prison? Veronica and Logan continued to wander farther away from her car and farther out into the desert.

"Logan, what if it's a trap?"

"Nonsense, honeydoll."

"Cut the shit, I'm serious."

"My dad doesn't want you dead, Veronica. He doesn't care if you live or die. There is no trap."

"I'm talking about for you."

"Ah well, that's just a chance we're going to have to take. Turn right at this tree and walk ten paces. Or ten miles. This fucking map is really indecipherable."

"Well, he made it in prison based on something Liam Fitzpatrick told him years ago. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe cut the map a little slack."

"Veronica." Logan's voice and demeanor had completely changed. There was no more joking around. "I think we're supposed to dig here."

"Are you sure?"

He showed her the map. "Doesn't this look like the place? Ten paces from that tree and five paces from that cactus?"

Veronica nodded and dug her shovel into the soft ground. "Are you ready for this?"

"As I'll ever be." They both started digging, not knowing how deep they had to go. They kicked up sand with their hands, their feet, their shovels… Until Logan touched something that felt specifically like bone.

"Oh shit."

Veronica's head snapped in his direction at once. Wordlessly, she helped him dig deeper until they had unearthed a skinless, handless arm. Veronica wanted to vomit but she continued to help Logan dig out the entire body. It was a female skeleton, with no defining characteristics that they could see other than the missing hand. There was no jewelry, no wallet, no clothing, no proof.

"Do you think it's her?" Veronica finally spit out.

"I, I have no idea." Logan continued to dig and to look all around for something that would prove it—something that would end it all at last. "Veronica, I don't know what to do."

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Three days had passed. Logan had finally agreed with Veronica that he should go to the police instead of to prison to see Aaron. If Aaron ever got out, he would really want to kill Logan now.

"You sure you're not coming?"

"I can't stand to be around the sheriff if I don't have to."

"I don't know that I can stand to be around him either…"

"Just go, Logan. It'll be ok."

"If you say so, sweetheart."

And on Logan went, so he could look Lamb straight in the eye and say: "Even if he didn't pull the trigger himself, he is guilty of so many other things. He thinks I want to help exonerate him but that is not the case, I assure you. I want justice for her. I want to know who killed her—beyond a shadow of a doubt. If it's Aaron or if it's Liam or if it's someone else… I need to know and I need your help. And Veronica doesn't lie about things like rape, just so you know."


	7. Chapter 7

"Look, about Veronica…"

"Save it. You owe it to her, not to me."

Lamb swallowed hard. "Ok, then. About your mother. Tell me exactly where the body is buried and I'll get a team out there today."

"Thank you."

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Veronica and Logan weren't supposed to follow Lamb and his men out to the desert, so when they did they kept a safe distance. Veronica unsurprisingly was an expert at covertly following people.

Only it wasn't just Lamb and his men. There were reinforcements—feds, maybe? Logan couldn't guess. His stomach retched as he watched the body being dug up once more in the middle of the unforgiving desert. Luckily, it was still there. Part of Logan had thought maybe whoever buried her there would have been tipped off somehow and moved the body. But no. There she was—in all her boney glory.

Veronica squeezed Logan's hand as they watched from a distance. "Are you ok?"

He nodded without taking his eyes off the officers. That was enough to appease her for now. The men were bagging the body and hauling it into a van and that's when Logan did get sick. He didn't risk leaving the car for fear of being noticed so he puked into the plastic bag that he used for trash. "Sorry," he coughed out at Veronica once he was done.

"Don't be sorry," she said gently, offering him some gum as he wiped his mouth. "I feel like throwing up too." Veronica paused and then turned Logan's chin with her fingertips so she could look straight into his worried eyes. "Let's go home."

Logan wordlessly agreed, shifting the car from neutral into reverse and then quietly driving back the way they came. Lamb should have noticed them then, but if he did he didn't say or do anything. In fact, he called Logan later that night to say they had found a few items of clothing buried near the body and a lab in San Diego was testing them for DNA. Lamb reminded Logan these things could take a few days. Lynn's DNA wasn't in the system as far as Logan knew, but her killer's probably was. Hope kept him awake at night and left him with dark circles under his eyes. Fear made him start drinking more than he even had before. Aaron kept calling; Logan kept ignoring his calls. Veronica just wanted her boyfriend's nightmares to end.

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Sometimes they felt so old and sometimes they felt so young. But they wondered if they would ever really, truly feel ok.

Logan couldn't even imagine how pissed off his dad was going to be when they finally spoke again—in fact, he didn't want to imagine it. There was no news on the clothes yet and Duncan coming home for the weekend was the only thing keeping Logan going. He missed having a best friend around he could really talk to. Veronica was great, but she was his girlfriend. He didn't want her to know how truly fucked up he was inside (as if she couldn't figure it out on her own). Dick was a surface level friend, obviously. At least, he always had been before. Who was Logan to take their relationship to the next level without Dick's consent? Logan had offered to pick Duncan up from the airport but the Kanes were sending a car… Which was just as well as Logan couldn't be bothered to remember to stay sober for such things anymore.

Logan was on his third glass of whatever the hell he was drinking that hour when there was a knock on his apartment door. Logan bolted from the couch excitedly—Duncan was early. Veronica was just as excited to see Duncan but she wasn't home yet. The two old friends would have a couple of hours alone to sit around and reminisce, to talk about things other than Lynn's disappearance, hopefully. They could talk about pool parties and that one time they stole candy from 7-11 without getting caught. There was already a smile on Logan's face as he blindly yanked open the door.

His smile faltered when Duncan wasn't on the other side. Instead there stood a petite woman in maybe her mid-twenties, dressed like she was coming from a funeral or like she was from New York or something—or both. Needless to say, there was a hat and a black pencil skirt involved. Nothing about her screamed Southern California sunshine to say the least and Logan was fairly certain he had never laid eyes on her before. Yet she was staring back at Logan like he was somebody famous. Or infamous. When the woman didn't speak right away, Logan found his voice. "I'm sorry… Can I help you? Are you here for Veronica, 'cause she's at work…?"

Taking off her sunglasses in one fluid, dramatic motion, she replied evenly: "No, Logan. I'm here for you. My name is Trina Echolls. I'm your sister." She held out her hand for him to shake and Logan warily reciprocated while successfully managing not to fall over in shock and confusion.

"I'm sorry," he finally stuttered in disbelief, backing up into the apartment and gesturing for Trina to follow him inside. "You're my what? Did Dick put you up to this?"

"No. Aaron did. He thought it was time for us to finally meet. Come on, little brother, he wants us to talk. And I want us to talk." She grabbed Logan's drink and took a sip as if they were real brother and sister—as if they had grown up together and this was all perfectly natural. Trina sat down on the couch, making herself at home without hesitation. In fact, she looked more at home than Logan did as she looked him square in the eye: "So let's talk."


	8. Chapter 8

Even though school had barely begun, Duncan was flying back to Neptune for one reason and one reason only: to make sure Logan was ok. As his Town Car pulled up to Logan and Veronica's modest but attractive apartment complex, Duncan took a deep breath, tipped the driver, and headed up the one flight of stairs with his suitcase in hand. He knocked tentatively on the door before realizing that it was slightly ajar.

"Hello," Duncan called out. He could hear a woman's voice that was not Veronica's and he couldn't hear Logan speaking at all. "Logan?"

Logan stonily made his way to the door. "Hey, Duncan. How was your flight?" Logan reached over and hugged his best friend.

"Good. A little bumpy. Am I interrupting…?"

"No, um. Of course not. Duncan this is Trina who I just met. Trina this is my best friend Duncan."

"Oh yeah, I've heard about you," Trina said by way of introduction. "You shot Aaron in the chest." She shook his hand anyway.

Duncan released her hand slowly. "What are you, his lawyer or something?"

"No, sweetie, I'm his daughter. I'm Logan's half-sister. And I'm so pleased to meet one of my little brother's friends." Duncan stared gape-mouthed at Logan, who just shrugged in return.

"It sounds true, man."

"It is true, Logan. How many times do I have to tell you? Our father had sex with my mother before he ever met yours. He basically abandoned us, never married my mom, and then started visiting a couple times a year when I was about five."

"When I was born."

"Yep. Mmmhmm. He showed me your hospital picture. He was so proud."

"Right."

"You don't have to believe me Logan but everything I've said to you is the truth. I really just want to get to know you and see if we can't help Dad together."

"I'm not sure I want to help _Dad_ even if I can."

"I know you found Lynn's body. I can't imagine how hard all this must be for you. But it's hard on him too. You're withholding vital information that could potentially free him from prison."

"I'm not withholding anything. They don't know anything yet."

"Excuse me, Trina?" Duncan wasn't generally one to interrupt but the broken down look on Logan's face was just about breaking his heart. A sibling was something that Logan had always yearned for, but this definitely seemed like too little too late—add in Trina's agenda and Duncan could see why Logan was looking like a kicked puppy. "Did you know that Aaron never told Logan or Lynn about you?"

"He told me he wanted to protect Logan by keeping him in the dark but, make no mistake, Lynn knew. I met her before."

"What?" Logan quickly snapped back to reality.

"Yes, she was a beautiful woman, your mother. She accompanied our father to quite a few of my birthday parties. She was nice to me. She seemed fine with the situation." Logan's father lying to him for his whole life was something he could take but not his mother.

"Are you sure she knew you were Aaron's daughter?" Logan asked.

"Oh yeah. Like I said, my parents were split up before Dad even met your mom. It wasn't cheating or anything."

"Well, he made up for that, believe me."

"Look, Logan. I of all people know that Aaron's not perfect. Who among us is? The point is he's our dad and he needs our help—"

"Trina. With all due respect, there is no way you really know Aaron like I know Aaron. And that's a good thing for you. The things he's capable of, the things he's done… I don't think just because we're related to him we owe him anything—"

"He's our _father_, Logan. He's not some great-uncle in Oklahoma we've never met."

"Exactly. He's our father. And that's why I know him better than anyone else does and I just don't know…" Already Duncan could see Logan was going to end up acquiescing to Trina's will. A new, beautiful (Duncan had to admit), New York City sister who was nice enough but also playing on Logan's mixed emotions about his dad… Yeah, this wasn't going to end well.

"Listen, Logan. You're right. I don't know the man as well as you do. I saw him a few times a year and they were always happy times. I didn't see the day in, day out stuff. You can tell me anything you want and I promise to believe you. You've heard me out, after all. But—in the end—if you could help me, Aaron will be grateful to you as will I."

Logan turned to Duncan. "Hey man, you want a drink? It's really good to see you but I think we're all going to need a drink."

"Okaaaay." Duncan could barely get the word out before Logan had refreshed Trina's drink and started pouring two more. "Whiskey ok? Veronica has red wine if you want…"

"Whiskey's good," Duncan replied as Trina was wandering slightly, picking up a picture of Logan and Veronica that was sitting framed on the side table. Logan had never had pictures in his apartments before Veronica came along. Now their apartment had several photos of Keith, Lianne, Lynn, Duncan, Lilly, and them—all Veronica's doing, of course.

"Oh, Logan, she's beautiful." Trina said it with so much sincerity that for a second Logan allowed himself to truly think of this woman as his sister, as someone he could have a real relationship with.

"Yeah," Logan said, smiling for the first time since Trina's sudden appearance at his door. "She is."

"Are you talking about me?" Veronica asked slyly, having just snuck in unnoticed. She gave Duncan a big hug and kissed Logan on the lips. "I brought home coffee in case the whiskey runs dry."

Trina held out her hand to Veronica. "Hi, I'm Trina. I'm Logan's sister."

"Logan doesn't have a sister…" Veronica had said aloud before she could stop herself. Unlike Duncan, Veronica wasn't usually known for her conversational restraint.

"Um, I guess Aaron never mentioned Trina before now," Duncan supplied when it looked like neither Logan nor Trina was going to.

"Oh, Aaron, right. That makes sense. Nice to meet you anyway, Trina. I'm Veronica. Welcome to our home."

And then Logan's cell phone started buzzing in his pocket. He both prayed that it would and wouldn't be Sheriff Lamb. He knew he wouldn't be able to help himself from telling Trina the DNA results et al with her standing right there.

"Hello?" Veronica and Trina stared at Logan intently, observing his face for any sign of distress or relief. Duncan looked politely at his shoes. "Yes, this is Logan Echolls." Veronica frowned. Lamb wouldn't have double checked that it was Logan by using his full name. "Oh ok. Thank you. My, uh, sister and I will be right over."

"Logan, what happened?" Trina softly demanded when he seemed once again unable to speak.

"Trina, there's been some sort of accident at the prison. Aaron's in the ICU."

"We should get up there. I'll drive." Logan nodded slightly at her, ready to follow his big sister's lead because he was simply tired of thinking.

"Veronica and Duncan, you guys stay. Have dinner or something. We'll be back soon." Logan could barely deal with himself, let alone other people.

"You don't know that, Logan. Are you sure you don't want me there?"

"No, Ronnie. It's ok. I just—" The phone rang again and Logan assumed without looking at his caller ID that it was either the hospital or the prison.

"Logan. This is Don Lamb. If you want to come down to the station, I've got some news."


	9. Chapter 9

Duncan and Veronica drank quietly at the kitchen counter. Trina and Logan had split up, with Trina heading straight to see Aaron and Logan stopping at the sheriff's office on the way.

"You must be hungry from your flight…"

"I'm ok."

"Well, I'm starved. You want to go get something? There is no food here at Chez Mars."

"Chez Mars, huh?"

Veronica shrugged with a tiny smile on her face. "Logan likes my name better too. Come on. Let's go out to eat. We'll keep our phones on and we'll talk and talk."

"Sounds like a plan, Mars. Steak and potatoes?"

"And booze and companionship."

"You believe Trina's really his sister?"

"I think so."

"I hope so. He can't take too much more bullshit."

"I know. Come on. Let's fucking eat." He took her hand and they headed out the door.

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"They found your mother's DNA on the clothes," Lamb said softly and without preamble.

Logan looked up, shocked. "I… didn't even know she'd be in the system."

"She got a couple DUIs back when you were in high school." Logan nodded—that made sense. "I'm so sorry, Logan."

"No, that's ok. I mean, uh, it's good to know. Thank you so much. Did you guys find anything else?"

"There was a positive match for Liam Fitzpatrick's DNA as well. His blood was on her clothes. He's already serving a life sentence now upstate, but the feds interviewed him shortly after getting the DNA results. Fitzpatrick claims your father paid him to kill your mother and he had to return the hand to Aaron and tell him where the body was buried as proof. Sounds like he was more scared of Aaron than the other way around and he was expecting some form of blackmail sooner or later… If you can believe anything that he says."

"I might believe him over Aaron. Speaking of, apparently he's dying in LA right now." Logan didn't mean to sound blasé about the situation but it definitely came out that way.

"He's what? You want to go see him? Shit, the feds'll probably try interviewing him if he's conscious too."

"Yeah, I'm going to head up there next. Thanks again for the info on my mom. It's a relief to know for sure that she's gone… Well, you know what I mean. It's a relief to know anything for sure but I wish she was still here."

"I understand. Take care, Logan. I'll give you more news as it becomes available."

Logan nodded at the sheriff and hesitated outside a minute before calling Veronica on her cell. "Hey, will you go with me to see Aaron? I think I need you."

Logan picked Veronica up on his way out of town. It was everything he could do to convince Duncan that coming with them to visit the asshole of a man he had once shot was probably not a good idea. Veronica insisted on driving so that Logan could clear his head. Neither of them was drunk but they had both had drinks earlier in the day. At least Veronica had recently turned twenty-one. If Logan got pulled over, he could get a DUI for being .01. She was protecting him. Logan laughed at some of Veronica's halting gear changes as she drove his car—the girl was not used to driving stick shift but, like with anything else, she would become a pro at it by the time they reached their final destination.

Aaron was at the hospital nearest the prison—it dealt with all the inmates that were too seriously or chronically injured for the prison infirmary to handle. Trina was sitting in the ICU waiting room when they got there, not a trace of a tear in her eye.

"Logan, Veronica, hey," she greeted them, getting up quickly from her seat. She didn't feel like feigning any real grief, so she didn't.

"Hey, Trina. What's the news?" That was Veronica.

"They don't think he's going to make it. He's comatose. He took a really bad hit to the back of the head, apparently. Prison fight. I don't think it was random. I think someone was out to get him."

"Why?" Veronica again.

"He told me so as he was slipping in and out of it. Like I said, though: he's totally out of it now. Look, Logan. I know this is a lot to take in but let me just say what I've got to say. I am your sister, but I was hardly his daughter. I mean, biologically I was—yeah. But he wasn't really in our lives. I wasn't trying to help him because he's my dad or for any sort of altruistic purpose. He called me from prison a few weeks ago, begged me to visit, and told me he'd pay me ten grand if I tried to clear his name. He said his lawyer's doing jackshit, you don't care, whatever. So I figured I'd make a trip of it—visit California, see the sights and all that, see you. Well, I mean, he asked me to see you but I wanted to anyway. But the fact remains: I know he did it. Deep down, I know. I just wanted the cash and I sort of figured, what the fuck, you know? Meet you, do what he asks of me when you and I know he was never getting out anyway. Fool's dream. Even if he did, the same people who were trying to kill him on the inside would try to kill him on the outside." Trina had peppered her monologue with pregnant pauses, just waiting for Logan or even Veronica to interrupt. _Say something_. But all Logan did was squeeze Veronica's hand and look straight ahead at Trina, unblinking.

Finally, Logan said, "I get it, Trina. I'm just going to go see him before he dies."

"Only one visitor at a time in the ICU, especially with these prisoners," the floor nurse said when Veronica tried to accompany Logan to his father's room. Veronica nodded and fell back while Logan walked in, emotionless. There lay Aaron, once again in a guarded room. Could he hear Logan? Did he have any brain activity at all? Logan wondered if the State got to decide to pull the plug or if he did, if it even came to that. Maybe Aaron was just faking. If you could fake a coma. Logan wanted to slap his father again as he had once before, just to see if he was really almost gone. But what was the fucking point? They were nothing to each other anymore. Logan believed Fitzpatrick, Logan believed Trina's gut feeling, he believed what Veronica and Duncan had been telling him for months. He believed Aaron would have Lynn killed like the venomous coward he was rather than let her go. And maybe that was all this came down to—maybe she was finally ready to go and he would only let it happen on his terms.

"Is it wrong to wish death on someone?" Logan said quietly, mostly to himself, which was all the same because the federal marshal posted in the room did not answer him. Sacks or Leo would have. Lamb would have. But what would they have said?

888888888888888

Veronica stood alone in the waiting room, unable to sit down or relax, when Logan finally walked back out.

"Trina had to go. She said she'll be in touch." Veronica hesitated. "How did he look?"

"Peaceful. He must really be gone, the part that makes him him at least. You know what I mean…"

"I know."

"Well, what do you say we go home, grab Duncan and drink responsibly for a few hours?"

"Responsibly?"

Logan failed to suppress a little grin. "Ok, maybe not totally responsibly but we can take a cab. After all, I just found out I'm basically an orphan. Not that I wasn't already. But, Ronnie, I promise to keep trying. Um, I promise to try harder. I don't want to turn into some drunk you can't stand."

"Oh, Logan, you never could. I will always love you no matter what."

"Ditto." They started to kiss in the ICU waiting room before realizing how horribly inappropriate that was and deciding to hit the road.

"I'll drive," Logan said sweetly.

"Fuck that. I'm getting really good at this manual shit." Veronica hopped behind the wheel before Logan could say anything else—as if he would. She certainly couldn't understand what Logan was feeling right now, all the mixed emotions. But between finally having some sort of closure on his mom and knowing that his dad couldn't fuck with him anymore (at least in live interaction), there was suddenly a bit of lightness surrounding Logan.

Drink they would. Drink to remember, drink to forget, drink to fucking drink. Tomorrow would start their new lives. Tomorrow, they would make all their promises come true. Tomorrow.


End file.
